Unsolicited Jesters....

I have always wondered what’s about bosses that tend to engender an inexplicable surge of ill will towards them. That’s always been baffling. Is it only because they are working above us? Well if that’s the only reason than I guess it’s understandable. Imagine yourself on a tree trying to protect your bottoms. A boss always has to do that and it is quite stressful to constantly hold onto your bottom and I believe that makes him grumpy. But that’s not the only reason for our hatred. There are some bosses who have a fixed bottom but still think of their employee as a mutant species bred to cater to his needs.

I think another reason for this hatred would be a need for a point of conversation and the necessity to fit in. It’s human nature. When you are new to the company, we obviously tend to follow the herd. Your colleagues hate him and you hate him with no reason. It’s like Hey New Guy! How do you like our boss?, asked with a smoldering glare. Obviously your answer would be he sucks and there starts the ‘I hate my boss agenda’ and Thanks to bosses, they do nothing to change their ‘I suck attitude’ and we all end up hating our bosses.

But bosses can be funny sometimes if you know where to look for. Mine cracks me up with his antics. He believes he fathered Superman and it’s great to see him go on and on about his kid. My boss actually thinks his kid a savior of mankind (no offence kiddo, but your father thinks you are DaVinci, Newton and Spiderman rolled into one. Enjoy your handful). I guess if you truly start to hate your boss anything he does is a reason to make fun off. Well all the bosses that I have crack me up. My senior boss is just an inch taller than me and he struts around the floor as if he is Hercules reincarnated and he I think he thinks of himself as a super stud. My other senior boss is nearing 50 and he walks around twirling his ID card as if he is in his sweet 16’s. He reminds me off some Italian farm girl minus the beauty of course.

Well anyone who reads this may sympathize with me coz I have 3 bosses, but it’s not as bad as it sounds. I hate to say this but at the start of this Para I realized that office seems to be a little bearable because of their antics. So my learning ‘Hate your bosses with all your energy and you will find stuff that’s gonna make you laugh’. Follow this and office will seem a little more fun.

Our cold "escapade"....

It all started on a boring Saturday afternoon where we had nothing to do and were about to hit the sack when I had this sudden bright idea of going to nandi hills. As usual I was met by strict opposition but I managed to convince my hostel mates and we decided to go to nandi hills, watch the sunset and then go to a place called skandagiri for an overnight trek and watch the sunrise there. Within an hour we roped in 3 more guys and we were on our way.

Our plan was great on paper and everything was supposed to go fine but we were a bunch of guys with brainwaves of a species that’s stuck somewhere in mid evolution and what else can you expect? We got lost less than ten minutes from my hostel and were stuck in traffic which made us feel as if entire Bangalore had a grudge on us. But we still didn’t give up and like a bunch of knights plowed on and regrouped after fighting with the police (we actually had to pay some money and get out) and battling traffic. That’s when we realized that the sun has already set and nandi hills was dropped unceremoniously from our plans.

We than decided to go directly to skandagiri and have dinner and some booze which is an inevitability when a bunch of guys go out. But in our defense it was starting to get cold and we needed warmth. So after this collective decision we went into a dhaba which looked great but the food made us wonder if we had physically assaulted the cook. We boozed, smoked and ate like pigs and ended up doing all things one shouldn’t do before a trek and started the ride to the base of the hill.

It was pitch dark when we came to the base and a group of guys ambushed us saying they were guides and they will take us to the top without us getting lost. We decided we didn’t want one but this guy convinced us that we would get lost without him and we asked him to guide us. We should appreciate this guides marketing strategy coz first he convinces that we will get hopelessly lost without him and he leads us on a path which is so clear that even a 4 year old can follow all the way to the top without getting lost.

In spite of all that the trek to the top was great. It was dark all the way with just some moonlight and with rocks all around you. The view all around us was great and we enjoyed the climb. It was quite tiring and in spite of the chill and fog we were sweating. We finally reached the summit at 2 in the morning. We refreshed ourselves with a cup of hot tea and cigarettes when we once again started to feel the chill setting in. This forced us to get back into our warmwear which was sufficiently inadequate.

We selected a spot towards the edge with some grass on it and decided to catch some sleep. We must have lied down for some 15 minutes and were curled up into small balls and were huddling close to each other. I had curled up into such a small ball that I would have easily fit into a bag. It was so cold out there that any mention of anything cold was like a brutal assault. I for one have zero resistance to anything cold could not feel my fingers, my toes and butt seemed to have disappeared. We jus sat huddled close to each other eating omlette, drinking tea, listening to music and smoking like a bunch of engines. If anyone had seen the smoke we generated he would have thought forest fire.

Finally the night passed away and it was time for sunrise and much needed warmth. There were many people on the top by that time and we decided go look for a spot and got up when I realized that its jus not my butt but most of body didn’t feel like mine. The sun started to come out and the view just blew us off which made us feel as if the wait in the chill was worth it. There we were with all our feelings gently restored getting back into our usual crazed selves jumping around rocks taking pics of absolutely anything.

We decided to head back and started going downhill which wasn’t that tiring but hurt our legs considerably and my legs after having lost its existence for half the nite did suffer a lot. Halfway down the hill, crazy as we are, we started to run the remaining distance jumping around rocks as if we have kangaroo blood in us, which was a bad idea as we later realized. People watching us running and jumping would have thought that the president’s life is in danger and we are running to save his life.

We managed to reach the bottom in one piece which was quite an achievement considering our race to save the president’s life and the ride back home finally started. We had to stop at some place coz my roommate had a urgent requirement that had to taken care off immediately or would have led to grotesque happenings that would have been a embarrassment for the rest of his life. Apart from that the ride back was quite uneventful and Bangalore wasn’t that angry with us coz the traffic was light and we reached hostel n good time.

Back home my legs refused to listen to me, my toes had turned into foreign objects, throat felt like a like a corroded smoke vent, fingers felt like chopsticks, butt refused to allow me to sit, my back was on a offensive against me and brain was screaming for some sleep. But all in all the experience was quite amazing that made me come out with my second literary masterpiece and I am already planning our next "escapade".

Tentative Ingenuity

Finally I am attempting to write something. There must be a paradigm shift in the alignment of our universe that’s making me do something that I have never done. A little more shift and you can find Osama getting caught, Bermuda triangle mystery getting solved, rise of Atlantis and our first contact with the Martians. Well the first big Q? is what I should write about. Since I can’t decide on that I am writing crap about that itself. And now I am stuck. Geez writing something is tough and I thought I am good at such things. Great confidence boosting stuff I am doing. I feel like I am a kid who thought he was karate kid and one day realized that he can’t lift his feet halfway up his torso. Talking about karate those guys are made of noodles jumping about as if they are born to disprove Newton. See I am now deviating. I am supposed to write about my indecision about what to write.

Well I guess that’s why writing is tough. You are supposed to focus and unlike me whose focus is “nanoseconds lasting” it’s really tough. But I have decided to really do something worthwhile and I will dole out well seasoned crap that people I know will think that I have written when I am high. There’s a huge misnomer among people that inspiration strikes only when you are high. Although it may be partly true it is also partly false and I believe in optimism and I choose the negative end of optimism.

Funny isn’t it? We can actually make crap without any substance. I didn’t have anything to write about but still managed to get 285 words till here. There must surely be some evolution that makes man the supreme being. I bet chimps can’t do that. They can just sit digging their nose with sticks all day doing nothing making grunting noises !!! One more thing, if you come back a little and see the screen you will notice there are too many I’s in the lines I have written. Dont know what that means but it must surely reflect something about myself that a psycho analyst may shed more light on.

Well I think I better stop, have written too much crap. Anyways this is my first time and it will not be long before literary masterpieces come out.